Wednesday, 16 July 2014

The downfalls of being indecisive

I am a very indecisive person, I always have been. So much so, that my family shout at me because I take so long to choose food in a restaurant. This indecisiveness is not helping the fact that I need to start looking at companies to do my third year placement at.

My course is 'MChem Chemistry with a year in Industry', so in third year I spend my time at a chemical company and I work for them for an entire year. The first issue to tackle was the sector of chemistry I wanted to go into. I enjoy inorganic and organic chemistry the most but my grades in inorganic have been higher, so I decided I wanted to go into inorganic to explore a little more about the things that have interested me, such as transition metal complexes and colour chemistry. I like the fact you're guaranteed to have pretty coloured products in inorganic, as childish as that sounds and I also really love inorganic labs at Uni.

My exam results really haven't been the greatest and I know I could have done better, however I've had a pretty tough year with being diagnosed with depression and bereavements etc. so I was quite happy to finish first year with a 2:1. This is pretty much the minimum to be able to get an industry placement so I'm quite nervous that I'm not going to be good enough. All I can do is smash it next year.

Recently, I've been looking into companies to apply to and at this moment in time, just thinking about it makes me anxious and nauseous. On one hand I can't imagine living on my own for a year away from everyone else at Uni, but at the same time I am secretly excited (just a minute bit though). I want to go somewhere I'll really love; after all, I will be working 9am-5pm, five days a week. The worst part is having to have an idea of where I want to work by September as I need to start applying, but at the moment, I'm totally not ready for this.
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