Difficult Decisions

When I first applied for University, I wanted to do a year in Industry as I thought this would help improve my employability prospects and make me stand out. I'm now in my second year and have been preparing to send applications to companies etc. However, no matter hard I try, I can't quite find it in me to send them. It has been overwhelming (and not in a good way).

In the last few days, something has dawned on me. I'm not cut out for this and it's just not for me. This has knocked me sideways as I've always been the kind of student who has 'succeeded' at everything and given things a try even if I didn't really want to because I knew it would be good for me in the long run. Now this has come along and a multitude of factors is making me dread my year in Industry. Recently my mental health hasn't been tip-top so I'm really worried about spending a year alone in a random place with no one to go home to cry to (really). Also, I've realised that I actually kind of don't want to do this. It's an entire year of my life that I will be spending doing research and development or some other activity. A year is a long time and seeing as I'm unsure whether I want to do it right now, what happens if I have to spend an entire year there and I hate it? 

I'm still really confused as to whether I should move 'down' on to the straight MChem course and so I've written some lists of pros and cons:

Pros of staying on the Industry course

• Return to Uni in fourth year with more lab experience
• Be more employable
• A year free of exams 
• It looks good on my CV

Cons of staying on the Industry course

• I don't really want to do it
• My mental health isn't that great at the moment
• The stress of actually applying
• Having to complete uni modules whilst working 9-5 at a company

Looking at these lists it's almost clear to me what decision to make, however being told I can 'move down' to the straight MChem course is something that I don't like to hear. People treat it like I would be taking a step backwards and be less of a successful scientist and I don't know if I can take that idea, as I've always been the kind of student who has been good. I've always been the best, and I don't quite know how to cope with not being the best and not succeeding at something. I can't quite grasp the idea that maybe this course is not for me, because I've never experienced that before and I suppose I'd feel a bit like a failure.


Any advice is appreciated, as I'm sure you'll guess, I'm a little clueless.

North-East Adventures

Kielder Water

So I'm currently sat in my boyfriend's bedroom in Wallsend after the most incredible week of sightseeing and new experiences, and I still have another five days here. I went camping for the first time, which was fab and the toilet block had Dyson Airblades which I'm a huge fan of and I imagine it's rare for a campsite to have such luxurious hand-drying facilities. If anyone wishes to visit said campsite with fabulous toilets I'll leave the link below. We camped just outside of Bellingham (which I learnt is NOT pronounced Belling-ham) at Boe Rigg campsite. The area is amazing, there's so many beautiful sites to see, including Kielder Water and Forest Park. Being the science fanatic I am, I of course wanted to visit the observatory but unfortunately all events were fully booked. I will visit one day when the skies are clear. :-)

If you're a fan of conservation and wildlife, there are many species that can only be seen in this part of the country, including red squirrels.  Kielder is home to 50% of the native red squirrel population and much information can be found about the conservation work being done to protect this beautiful species. Also to be seen are Ospreys, some of the most fascinating birds of prey.

Discovery Museum

Yesterday I visited the Discovery Museum in Newcastle, the first science museum in Britain to be built outside of London. The place is vast with so much to 'discover', literally; I could have spent all day in there. There is an exhibit which takes you through the history of the Newcastle, from the Romans building Pons Aelius to the modern day. Of course, my personal favourite was the science maze. The maze takes you through the basics and fundamental concepts of science including: forces, how sound travels, electricity, and light and vision just to name a few. There are activities to try throughout the maze such as a ball game involving magnets and seeing how much electricity you can generate simply by completing a circuit using your hands and how the voltage increases when your hands are moist. It's a brilliant way for young people to gain  an interest in science; there were so many little children bewildered by making their own circuits and standing in front a kaleidoscope mirror. It's lovely to know that this brilliant exhibition might inspire one of these young children to take up science. The gift shop is also filled with sciencey goodness, I especially wanted the crystal growing kit. :-)

I still have to visit the Centre for Life and the Great North Museum amongst other things, so I'll write a little review of those next week.

Boe Rigg campsite

Kielder Water and Forest Park

and for any astronomy enthusiasts: Kielder Observatory

Discovery Museum

The downfalls of being indecisive

I am a very indecisive person, I always have been. So much so, that my family shout at me because I take so long to choose food in a restaurant. This indecisiveness is not helping the fact that I need to start looking at companies to do my third year placement at.

My course is 'MChem Chemistry with a year in Industry', so in third year I spend my time at a chemical company and I work for them for an entire year. The first issue to tackle was the sector of chemistry I wanted to go into. I enjoy inorganic and organic chemistry the most but my grades in inorganic have been higher, so I decided I wanted to go into inorganic to explore a little more about the things that have interested me, such as transition metal complexes and colour chemistry. I like the fact you're guaranteed to have pretty coloured products in inorganic, as childish as that sounds and I also really love inorganic labs at Uni.

My exam results really haven't been the greatest and I know I could have done better, however I've had a pretty tough year with being diagnosed with depression and bereavements etc. so I was quite happy to finish first year with a 2:1. This is pretty much the minimum to be able to get an industry placement so I'm quite nervous that I'm not going to be good enough. All I can do is smash it next year.

Recently, I've been looking into companies to apply to and at this moment in time, just thinking about it makes me anxious and nauseous. On one hand I can't imagine living on my own for a year away from everyone else at Uni, but at the same time I am secretly excited (just a minute bit though). I want to go somewhere I'll really love; after all, I will be working 9am-5pm, five days a week. The worst part is having to have an idea of where I want to work by September as I need to start applying, but at the moment, I'm totally not ready for this.

Kelham Island Museum

After exams had finished, my boyfriend and I decided to fully exploit the length of our accommodation contract and stay in Sheffield for a couple more weeks after the majority of people had moved out. We decided to do 'tourist' Sheffield and go to the sites that we would want to see if we were only visiting for a short period of time.

On our list was Kelham Island and specifically Kelham Island Museum. It sounds odd to have an 'island' in the centre of the steel city, but the previously the area has been home to many factories and was mainly industrial so a small ditch/trench was built that allowed water to reach the water mills. Hence the island was created.

As a lover of all types of museums and having recently covered the production of steel and metals as part of my degree course, I couldn't wait to get to to Kelham Island to visit their famous industrial museum. As you approach the museum, the first thing you see is a huge Bessemer converter outside. Bessemer converters were used to make steel from molten pig iron. Pig iron is iron with a fairly high amount of carbon, up to 4.5% by composition. The molten iron is placed into the Bessemer converter and the idea is to remove impurities such as silicon and carbon as oxides using the process of oxidation. Oxidation also heats the converter meaning the iron inside remains molten throughout the process. Other substances could then be added to the molten steel to make the desired product. 

The Bessemer converter at Kelham Island Museum (Source)

From the outside the museum looks relatively small compared to the disused and abandoned factories that surround it, and of course the Bessemer converter. However, once inside, the place really is amazing and much bigger that expected. I was surprised at how big the museum actually is and it covers everything from the origins of the City of Sheffield including the city cannons, to the stories of women working in the factories, which I found particularly fascinating. 

There is a part of the museum that focuses on the making of cutlery in the surrounding area and there are so many beautiful artefacts including a pair of silver scissors beautifully engraved and in the shape of two birds. Apart from the Bessemer, I'd say the museum's main attraction is the River Don Engine in the engine house. Several times a day, they turn the engine on for visitors to watch it in action. Unfortunately we didn't know what the loud noise and banging was until we turned the corner and the spectacle was over. :( 

The River Don Engine (Source)

I really enjoyed Kelham Island Museum, it's such an interesting place. If only I'd visited before my exam...